{"id":20006,"date":"2024-03-07T10:12:19","date_gmt":"2024-03-07T09:12:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nyje.al\/?p=20006"},"modified":"2024-10-02T12:24:43","modified_gmt":"2024-10-02T10:24:43","slug":"fija-e-flokut","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nyje.al\/sq\/fija-e-flokut\/","title":{"rendered":"Fija e flokut"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Rea Nepravishta | 07.03.2024 | nyje.al<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>

Koka e nj\u00eb njeriu mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb mesatarisht nj\u00ebqind mij\u00eb flok\u00eb, e megjithat\u00eb secili njeri q\u00eb ekziston mbi tok\u00eb ka nj\u00eb num\u00ebr t\u00eb ndrysh\u00ebm flok\u00ebsh nga t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. T\u00eb njoh\u00ebsh numrin ekzakt t\u00eb flok\u00ebve t\u00eb dikujt do t\u00eb thot\u00eb, fillimisht, t\u2019a dallosh at\u00eb deri n\u00eb imt\u00ebsi si t\u00eb ndrysh\u00ebm nga tjetri, t\u00eb p\u00ebrve\u00e7\u00ebm, t\u00eb paz\u00ebvend\u00ebsuesh\u00ebm. Asnj\u00eb i njejt\u00eb me tjetrin. Sa koh\u00eb i duhet dikujt q\u00eb t\u00eb njoh\u00eb numrin ekzakt t\u00eb flok\u00ebve t\u00eb dikujt tjet\u00ebr? Sa p\u00ebrkujdesje? Nj\u00eb koh\u00eb e matshme n\u00eb or\u00eb, minuta, a dit\u00eb? Po kur ngat\u00ebrrohen fijet? Si matet v\u00ebmendja q\u00eb dikush jep p\u00ebr t\u00eb num\u00ebruar flok\u00ebt e dikujt tjet\u00ebr? Sa k\u00ebmb\u00ebngulje k\u00ebrkon? Sa vullnet? Sa p\u00ebrq\u00ebndrim tek tjetri? Apo ndoshta \u00ebsht\u00eb thjesht\u00eb nj\u00eb akt rutine, n\u00eb tulatje e sip\u00ebr, n\u00eb nj\u00eb koh\u00eb q\u00eb rrjedh pa rrjedhur? Por n\u00eb fund t\u00eb fundit, \u00e7far\u00eb sh\u00ebrben t\u00eb dish numrin e flok\u00ebve t\u00eb dikujt? Nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb funksionale ndaj asgj\u00ebje, as sh\u00ebrben p\u00ebr ndonj\u00eb q\u00ebllim n\u00eb shoq\u00ebri.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

\u201cNj\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00eb e njeh ekzakt\u00ebsisht numrin e fijeve t\u00eb flokut t\u00eb bij\u00ebs a birit t\u00eb saj,\u201d – thot\u00eb psikanalisti italian Massimo Recalcati n\u00eb nj\u00eb podcast t\u00eb tij, shprehje e cila \u00ebsht\u00eb fija narrative q\u00eb udh\u00ebheq k\u00ebt\u00eb rrahje mendimesh. Ai vazhdon duke th\u00ebn\u00eb se nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb rast\u00ebsore q\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb imazh e krijon natyrsh\u00ebm arketipi matern (e duhet theksuar se ai gjendet brenda t\u00eb gjith\u00eb njer\u00ebzve pavar\u00ebsisht gjinive apo t\u00eb qenit apo jo n\u00ebn\u00eb). Ndaj p\u00ebr t\u2019i hequr pesh\u00ebn e madhe stereotipizuese q\u00eb mbajn\u00eb shpeshher\u00eb n\u00ebnat mbi shpatullat e tyre, n\u00eb imagjinat\u00ebn time kam z\u00ebvend\u00ebsuar n\u00ebn\u00ebn me nj\u00eb njeri, kushdo qoft\u00eb ajo, ai apo ata.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

\u201cT\u00eb njoh\u00ebsh numrin ekzakt t\u00eb fijeve t\u00eb flokut t\u00eb tjetrit\u201d \u00ebsht\u00eb shfaqje e thell\u00ebsis\u00eb s\u00eb koh\u00ebs s\u00eb dedikuar, holl\u00ebsis\u00eb s\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnies, imt\u00ebsis\u00eb, p\u00ebrmas\u00ebs pa pesh\u00eb. Brumosja e nj\u00eb hap\u00ebsire si shprehi e intimes \u00ebsht\u00eb sht\u00ebpia e brendshme q\u00eb krijojn\u00eb fijet e flokut. Na ndodh q\u00eb dim\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrdorim gjuh\u00ebn, por na mungon alfabeti emocional. Shpesh jemi analfabet\u00eb emocional. Nuk dim\u00eb t\u2019i japim form\u00eb bot\u00ebs s\u00eb brendshme p\u00ebrball\u00eb nj\u00eb Tjetri t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb prej mishi e gjaku. Vijm\u00eb nga nj\u00eb brez prind\u00ebrish t\u00eb mbrujtur me ashp\u00ebrsin\u00eb dhe heroizmin arketipik mashkullor t\u00eb N\u00ebn\u00ebs Parti, q\u00eb kishte gjith\u00e7ka prej m\u00eb t\u00eb keqes s\u00eb burrit patriarkal, e asgj\u00eb prej arketipit matern s\u00eb cilit i kishte vjedhur emrin. Vazhdojm\u00eb t\u00eb trash\u00ebgojm\u00eb nj\u00eb mpirje t\u00eb aft\u00ebsis\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019i dh\u00ebn\u00eb z\u00eb shpirtit n\u00eb form\u00eb intime. Disa her\u00eb, madje, na del m\u00eb kollaj t\u00eb flasim publikisht p\u00ebr ndjenjat n\u00eb forma megalomano-patetike, se sa t\u00eb shprehemi drejtp\u00ebrdrejt\u00eb p\u00ebrball\u00eb nj\u00eb njeriu q\u00eb q\u00ebndron p\u00ebrball\u00eb nesh jasht\u00eb reflektor\u00ebve publik\u00eb. Intimiteti, ndryshe nga Publikja t\u00eb cil\u00ebn e zot\u00ebrojm\u00eb mir\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb sfer\u00eb q\u00eb askush nuk na e ka m\u00ebsuar ta lundrojm\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>

Aft\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb eksploruar alfabetin emocional e m\u00ebsojm\u00eb fillimisht n\u00eb sht\u00ebpit\u00eb ku jemi rritur, dhe kryesisht nga marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet me ata q\u00eb jan\u00eb kujdesur p\u00ebr ne n\u00eb vij\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00eb vegj\u00eblin\u00eb e hershme. M\u00eb von\u00eb, aft\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr intimitet t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb e fark\u00ebtojm\u00eb gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebs ton\u00eb, n\u00eb nj\u00eb luft\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrhershme me vetveten n\u00ebse mundemi t\u2019i zgjerojm\u00eb kufijt\u00eb tan\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019a p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb tjetrin, apo t’i mbajm\u00eb ata mbyllur p\u00ebr t\u2019u mbrojtur prej tij. Arketipi matern (i cili \u00ebshte krijuar p\u00ebr shkak se n\u00ebna \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebrkujdesur nd\u00ebr mij\u00ebvje\u00e7ar\u00eb p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebn), e q\u00eb n\u00eb fakt ndodhet nga pak brenda t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve ne, \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo hap\u00ebsir\u00eb ku t\u00eb num\u00ebrosh fije p\u00ebr fije flok\u00ebt e dikujt n\u00ebnkupton t\u00eb kushtosh koh\u00eb intime me nj\u00eb qenie tjet\u00ebr, koh\u00eb ushqyese p\u00ebr shpirtin.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

\u201cTe njoh\u00ebsh numrin ekzakt t\u00eb fijeve t\u00eb flokut t\u00eb tjetrit\u201d do t\u00eb thot\u00eb q\u00eb ta njoh\u00ebsh tjetrin deri n\u00eb holl\u00ebsin\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl, dhe t\u00eb ekzaltosh pik\u00ebrisht ve\u00e7antin\u00eb e tij, t\u00eb qenit t\u00eb paz\u00ebvend\u00ebsuesh\u00ebm nga askush tjet\u00ebr n\u00eb bashk\u00ebsin\u00eb kozmike t\u00eb t\u00eb gjall\u00ebve. Feministja italiane Adriana Cavarero thot\u00eb se vet\u00ebm n\u00ebna e njeh n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb thell\u00eb aktin e lindjes duke filluar nga trupi – si p\u00ebrvoja ku kryhet singularizimi i jet\u00ebs, dallimi nga nj\u00eb e pafundme e paem\u00ebrt drejt p\u00ebrvoj\u00ebs s\u00eb ardhjes n\u00eb ekzistenc\u00eb. Shum\u00eb pak \u00ebsht\u00eb folur p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb t\u00eb mishit, t\u00eb trupit, sepse filozofia nd\u00ebr shekuj \u00ebsht\u00eb krijuar dhe ka mbetur n\u00eb bot\u00ebn e ideve, n\u00eb nj\u00eb bot\u00eb abstrakte t\u00eb krijuar nga burrat dhe p\u00ebr burrat.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Nuk ekziston dashuria p\u00ebr t\u00eb p\u00ebrgjithshmen, p\u00ebr mas\u00ebn e madhe gri, adhurimi p\u00ebr t\u00eb madh\u00ebrishmen, iden\u00eb, e t\u00eb tjera konstrukte boshe si k\u00ebto. Nuk ekziston njer\u00ebzimi, thot\u00eb Sartre, ekziston njeriu i p\u00ebrve\u00e7\u00ebm. Jacque Lacan e zhvendos m\u00eb n\u00eb skaj, kur ai thot\u00eb \u201cNuk ekziston Gruaja\u201d p\u00ebr t\u00eb shpjeguar se nd\u00ebrsa burrat rreshtohen kollaj n\u00eb nj\u00eb mas\u00eb t\u00eb madhe gri, gruaja \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo q\u00eb del nga rreshti, asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nj\u00ebra nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e ngjashme me tjetr\u00ebn, por t\u00eb gjitha jan\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrve\u00e7me. Jo m\u00eb kot heretiket m\u00eb t\u00eb q\u00ebn\u00ebsishme n\u00eb histori, shtrigat, kan\u00eb qen\u00eb gra.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

\u201cT\u00eb num\u00ebrosh nj\u00eb nga nj\u00eb fijet e flokut t\u00eb tjetrit\u201d ngjet shenj\u00eb delikatese dhe privat\u00ebsie, ekskluziviteti dhe sekreti, nj\u00eb veprim i dal\u00eb nga nj\u00eb bot\u00eb e avasht\u00eb, e ngeshme, e mistershme, q\u00eb nuk i p\u00ebrket m\u00eb bot\u00ebs s\u00eb tashme. Nj\u00eb gjest q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon shtrirje t\u00eb koh\u00ebs, nd\u00ebrsa bota p\u00ebrreth vazhdon t\u00eb jet\u00eb frenetike. E kund\u00ebrt me gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb koha e sotme promovon: imazhet vanitoze t\u00eb rrjeteve sociale, goja e shqyer, zorr\u00ebt q\u00eb varen n\u00eb publik, fshirja e fsheht\u00ebsis\u00eb dhe t\u00eb panjohur\u00ebs, venitja e kufijve, zhdukja e marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnies n\u00eb dy, z\u00ebvend\u00ebsimi me marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnien me nj\u00eb shum\u00ebsi anonime q\u00eb nd\u00ebrsa pasqyron mbrapsht fytyr\u00ebn e gjithkujt, nuk pasqyron mbrapsht fytyr\u00ebn e askujt. Nd\u00ebrsa n\u00eb t\u00eb shkuar\u00ebn intimiteti ishte i ngurt\u00ebsuar p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb turpit, sot \u00ebsht\u00eb i zvet\u00ebnuar p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb shp\u00ebrb\u00ebrjes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Pavar\u00ebsisht rrethanave ku kemi lindur, e pavar\u00ebsisht jet\u00ebve m\u00eb shum\u00eb apo m\u00eb pak fatlume q\u00eb na ka q\u00eblluar t\u00eb kemi, p\u00ebr sa koh\u00eb jemi shk\u00ebputur nga terri i paem\u00ebrt dhe jemi singularizuar n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb ekzistenc\u00eb, do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se kemi brenda nesh nj\u00eb cop\u00ebz arketipi matern q\u00eb na trash\u00ebgohet nga thell\u00ebsia e koh\u00ebs. Sh\u00ebmb\u00eblltyra e k\u00ebsaj p\u00ebrmase \u201ct\u00eb vog\u00ebl\u201d t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo e cila, n\u00ebse e shohim, e shohim dhe e shohim vazhduesh\u00ebm n\u00eb sy, mundet t\u00eb na (ri)b\u00ebj\u00eb njer\u00ebz.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Imazhi i ballin\u00ebs<\/span><\/strong><\/em>: “Pritja”, piktur\u00eb nga Elsa Paja<\/em><\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Koka e nj\u00eb njeriu mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb mesatarisht nj\u00ebqind mij\u00eb flok\u00eb, e megjithat\u00eb secili njeri q\u00eb ekziston mbi tok\u00eb ka nj\u00eb num\u00ebr t\u00eb ndrysh\u00ebm flok\u00ebsh nga t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. T\u00eb njoh\u00ebsh numrin ekzakt t\u00eb flok\u00ebve t\u00eb dikujt do t\u00eb thot\u00eb, fillimisht, t\u2019a dallosh at\u00eb deri n\u00eb imt\u00ebsi si t\u00eb ndrysh\u00ebm nga tjetri, t\u00eb p\u00ebrve\u00e7\u00ebm, t\u00eb paz\u00ebvend\u00ebsuesh\u00ebm. Asnj\u00eb i njejt\u00eb me tjetrin. Sa koh\u00eb i duhet dikujt q\u00eb t\u00eb njoh\u00eb numrin ekzakt t\u00eb flok\u00ebve t\u00eb dikujt tjet\u00ebr? Sa p\u00ebrkujdesje? Nj\u00eb koh\u00eb e matshme n\u00eb or\u00eb, minuta, a dit\u00eb? Po kur ngat\u00ebrrohen fijet?…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":20009,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","ocean_post_layout":"right-sidebar","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"ocs-kendveshtrim-category-post-sidebar","ocean_second_sidebar":"0","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"0","ocean_custom_header_template":"0","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"0","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"0","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"on","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4],"tags":[661,660,120,659],"class_list":["post-20006","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kendveshtrim","category-kryenyje","tag-emocionalja","tag-fije-floku","tag-gruaja","tag-rea-nepravishta","entry","has-media"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nyje.al\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20006","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nyje.al\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nyje.al\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nyje.al\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nyje.al\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20006"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/nyje.al\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20006\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26442,"href":"https:\/\/nyje.al\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20006\/revisions\/26442"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nyje.al\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20009"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nyje.al\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20006"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nyje.al\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20006"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nyje.al\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20006"}],"curies":[{"name":"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